Civility and politeness are concepts that are often considered synonymous in our social discourse, yet they embody distinct qualities and serve different functions in fostering social cohesion and cooperation. This essay aims to delve into the nuances distinguishing politeness from civility, underscoring the importance of recognizing and valuing each in its own right.
The essence of civility lies in its foundation of respect, empathy, tolerance, patience, responsibility, and honesty. These principles are deeply rooted in moral values and authenticity, transcending social status and external appearances. Civility is about genuine engagement and fairness, striving for justice and understanding in interactions. On the other hand, politeness is characterized by tact, conformity, discretion, and orderliness. It often revolves around adhering to prescribed social norms and can, at times, be more superficial, focusing on immediate social harmony rather than addressing deeper issues.
The historical context of King Louis XIV’s reign provides an insightful example of how politeness, in the form of elaborate court etiquette, was used as a means of maintaining power structures. The intricate etiquette at the Palace of Versailles, symbolized by the use of “étiquette” or small cards dictating behavioral norms, effectively engaged the nobility in a system that left little room for dissent or challenge to the king’s authority. This historical anecdote illustrates how politeness can sometimes serve as a tool to uphold existing power dynamics rather than fostering genuine societal harmony.
The words of Martin Luther King Jr., written during his imprisonment for his nonviolent protest against segregation, further illuminate the distinction between civility and politeness. King’s assertion that “True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice” powerfully captures the essence of civility as a force for societal justice and equity, transcending the mere absence of conflict that politeness might achieve.
Moreover, George Orwell’s critique in his 1946 essay, “Politics and the English Language,” highlights how political discourse can manipulate language, using politeness and euphemism to mask untruths and injustices. This insight emphasizes the need for a community that values civility and authentic discourse, which involves not only recognizing but also courageously confronting and addressing deeper societal issues.
In the context of Los Alamos, a community endowed with rich economic, intellectual, and environmental resources, there lies a profound potential to exemplify how a society can thrive on the principles of civility. By embracing and nurturing civility, we can demonstrate how to constructively address and resolve issues related to essentials such as food, housing, healthcare, education, energy, and transportation. It is through the lens of civility, rather than mere politeness, that we can effectively work towards a community that is not only harmonious but also just and equitable.